Saturday, July 17, 2004

Nothing Is Simple

Blogspot just did a bit of an update and now it is easier to format your posts without using html, but don't let this "convenience" confuse you - blogging is getting complicated.  Secrets have escaped, relationships tested, rivalries fought, and feelings hurt.  In my dreams, my blog was never an instrument of harm; but, as is so often the case with the modern wonders of man, even the most peaceful can prove the most potent and destructive.  For the demons I have released, and the damage I have done, I apologize - I knew not what I did.  However, with time comes experience, and with experience wisdom, and with that, come words.  Thus, I'm forced to return to a topic of old that I left not so long ago, and begin to explain my blog, my thoughts, and myself.  
First, though I may be the "administrator", or, as I prefer, "orchestrator" of The Success Blog, I am not its creator.  It is created by what I read, what I see, where I go, and who I talk to.  Nothing here is truly original, and that's the way I like it.  The blog is a reflection of my daily influences - often with very little filtering at all.  Unfortunately, as the warm waters of my daily influences meet the cold waters of the very blog they influence, the ocean begins to rumble.  This, is the problem.
Some have chosen to get around this problem by hiding their blog, trying to separate the influences from their product.  This may work, for a while, or even forever - but it may not.  I've chosen not to take that route.  A blog is open to everyone, so my blog is open to anyone.  Come one, come all.  If you don't like it, don't stay.  In ways, this puts limits on what I can and can't say.  I would like to be able to draw an infallible line between my blog and my life, and thus suffer no "life" consequences for "blog" actions.  Unfortunately, I've already learned that that is, however ideal, impossible.  In ways, this may seem to limit my freedom.  Perhaps only a truly hidden, and therefore, truly isolated blog could afford complete honesty and sovereignty.  Maybe, but for me, I think I can come very close to absolute freedom without such annonimity.  I've said what I've said because, for some reason, it cought my eye.  It captured my mind or sparked a tiny little something inside that wanted to explore it and share it with others. 
I will admit, that for a while, I probably made assumptions about who would read the blog and who wouldn't.  That was a mistake, but as I look back, I don't think I would have changed anything.  I have never written anything I wasn't comfortable with anyone reading, and to be honest, that is a relieving feeling.  The problem is, I am bound to cause problems.  Talking about things that affect the people reading them always causes problems.  I don't want to cause problems.  I especially don't want to cause problems for other people.  At the very least, if I must truly accept the blurring of the lines between blog, its author, and me, then let me, the author of this blog, hear your concerns.  In fact, that brings me to another point.  There should be more comments to read.  A blog without comments is like a singer without backup, and while some people can pull that off, I'm just not that good at singing.  All I'm trying to do is just take notice of things, maybe think about them a little bit, and share them.  It's just all getting too complicated.  I want to blog more, about other things, like the several movies I've seen recently, but now I'm just too stressed out.  Tonight I go to sleep, tomorrow I hike, and then, perhaps, I can begin to try to tell you how hard School of Rock rocks.

Oh, and about Avril, I couldn't tell you a damn thing, other than that the name of her album is evidently Complicated just like this nonsensebusybitchingpicturestealingliferuining
painintheasstimeconsumingsleeptakingsoulstealingpissingeveryoneoff BLOG.

No comments: